Mama Sick

Health Update #352

Posted on June 28, 2013 by

(In this post I write about specific medications I am taking. I do not endorse any of these drugs for anyone else. You may not have any of the side effects I have if you are taking these medications. What may be a bad drug for you may a good drug for me, and what may be right for you may be wrong for me. My medications are meant for me and may not be the “cocktail” for everyone.)

Today I went to see the nurse practitioner at my behavioral health care facility. I told her that my depression was getting worse. I also told her of the physical issues my blood work done by my Primary Care Physician showed; elevated blood sugar and cholesterol, borderline anemia and low iron absorption. She, like I, wondered where the depression ended and the physical problems began, as both can cause tiredness and fatigue. She even went so far as to suggest I was not in a depression but I assured her I was.

Our plan of attack is to taper me off the mood stabilizer Zyprexa, which can cause weight gain and elevated blood sugar. I’m not going to jump on the “diabetes bandwagon” until I have been off the Zyprexa for a while. The drug she is replacing it with is called Latuda. Latuda is an anti-psychotic drug for schizophrenia at higher doses, and a mood stabilizer at a lower dose. I don’t know much more about it, other than it can cause nausea and should be taken with food. I have given up on reading drug side effects, because if I did I wouldn’t be on any of them.

I am going to increase the mood stabilizer Lamictal, which has helped with my depression, and to stay on Effexor.

The N.P. wanted me to see her within seven to ten days but I could only get an appointment with her 12 days out.

I am always looking for any small sign of my depression lifting and there is some evidence that I am improving. I actually went to my appointment with the N.P. today and my therapy appointment yesterday. I had goals of doing household chores like vacuuming, dusting and washing my sheets. I completed all of my goals and even wrote a blog post. I am a bit tired but am not dying to take a nap. Hopefully I am coming out of it. I don’t have time for depression, you know?

I see my Primary Care Physician July 3rd to discuss the results of my blood work.

Photo Courtesy of happyinternist.blogspot.com

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Posted in Uncategorized |

Tagged Bipolar, bipolar disease, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Effexor, Emily, Lamictal, Latuda, Zyprexa |

2 Comments

Depression: Here We Go Again

Posted on June 25, 2013 by

mamasick

I can’t believe it but I am going through my third period of depression this year. I get a few weeks where I feel good and then the depression comes back. Depression for me feels like I am dragging a ball and chain. I’ve been fighting it but the ball has gotten too heavy. I got Tyler off to camp and then I cancelled my appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner, as well as a haircut and color, just so I could stay in bed. I feel bad that I have given into it but I just couldn’t help it this time.

Of course some of the tiredness I am feeling may be physical. My blood work after my physical last month showed borderline anemia. My iron storage was normal but close to the end of the range. My sugar and cholesterol were elevated. My fasting blood sugar was 124, which falls into the category of pre-diabetes, with diabetes starting at a blood sugar of 125. I see my primary care physician next week to discuss the results.

I’ve been taking a medicine for bipolar disease that has caused me to gain weight at an alarming rate, which is causing me more depression. I am so unhappy with the way I look. Another of the side effects is high blood sugar and diabetes. I see the nurse practitioner on Friday and I want to be taken off that medicine. She will most likely up my meds for depression too.

When you are depressed you wonder, “How long will this go on?” I am going to the BlogHer conference at the end of July. Will I be better by then? How will I prepare for the trip when I feel like this? Being depressed would ruin the experience for me and I wouldn’t even go except I have prepaid my conference ticket and hotel stay which was very expensive. Should I have even tried to go, knowing that there was a possibility that I would be sick?

My therapist would say “But that is a month from now!” but when you are depressed you can’t help thinking about the future.

When I am depressed, posting on my blog is very difficult. My traffic has been good, my Alexa Ranking lowers every few days, but it will rise if I cannot put up posts. I have been blogging for five years and I can’t help wondering how successful I would be if I wasn’t sick. I look at other bloggers who started writing when I did, and even bloggers with less experience. It seems they have made great progress, and I feel envious and frustrated. Where would I be if I hadn’t taken breaks during my depressive episodes?

I ask for your prayers and good thoughts that my depression will lift soon. Being depressed like this is absolute torture. I know it will lift but when?

Source: tribune.com

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Tagged anemia, Bipolar, bipolar disease, Bipolar Disorder, BlogHer Conference'13, Depression, diabetes, pre-diabetes |

7 Comments

Over-scheduled

Posted on June 19, 2013 by

mamasick

Ah, those lazy days of summer…relaxing by the pool, sleeping in, the ice cream man…

Not at my house.

Grant and I said we were never going to do this but we have over-scheduled Tyler.

Next week he starts camp at the ‘Y’. Then on Thursdays he sees his counselor and has yoga. On Saturdays he has Reading Camp and on Sundays he has swimming lessons. At the end of July he takes a week off regular camp to go to Soccer Camp. Then there’s homework from the Reading Camp and from the Occupational Therapist plus a “Don’t Forget Everything You’ve Learned This Summer” packet from his teacher.

I am exhausted just writing this! How did this happen? Well, Tyler is a bit behind in reading and he does not enjoy it so we thought the reading camp would be a good idea, and he needs to learn how to swim; plus he loves soccer…He’s going to need Yoga just to relax from all the other activities.

In over-scheduling Tyler, I realize that I have over-scheduled myself as well. How am I supposed to get him to these things on time??? I am fighting depression again, along with my other health issues, and with that comes a feeling of being overwhelmed. What am I going to pack him for lunch every day? Will I remember the sunscreen? How will I handle the extra laundry of bathing suits and wet towels?

School was a breeze compared to what this summer will be!

Are you a chronically ill mom who finds summer challenging? Have you over-scheduled yourself?

Or maybe you are a well mom who feels overwhelmed too and it really doesn’t matter what your health is like.

Please tell me I am not the only one!

Photo courtesy of moneysavingmom.com

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Posted in Uncategorized |

Tagged chronic illness, Chronically Ill, chronically ill moms, chronically ill mothers, Emily, Grant, mom, mommy, Mother, summer, Tyler |

8 Comments

Boyfriend Material

Posted on June 17, 2013 by

mamasick

It has been hard knowing when the right time was to tell this to my readers, but I hope you will share in my happiness. Grant and I have been separated since December and I have been seeing someone.

I actually met “Jacques” (he picked his own pseudonym) on the day I left Grant. He was my neighbor at the hotel. He asked if he could help me unpack my car and of course I told him I could handle it. I didn’t want some strange guy in my hotel room and I thought he was coming on to me! Creep, I thought.

As I got to know him, I realized he was just being a gentleman and neighborly, pretty rare qualities these days.

When I separated from Grant I didn’t expect to be dating anyone until at least Tyler went to college! It was the furthest thing from my mind. When I started to have feelings for Jacques I thought, “No, this can’t be happening right now!” but I couldn’t ignore this wonderful man right in front of me.

Jacques is the type of many who would truly give you the shirt off his back. He makes me dinner, in fact he loves to cook. He mows my lawn and is handy around the house. He treats me like a queen, the way I deserve to be treated, as does any woman.

I have not told Tyler that we are seeing each other as he is still sensitive about Grant and I s’ separation. He thinks Jacques is a friend. In fact he calls Jacques our “butler” because he does so many things for us!

I hope you will share in my joy that I have found a good man, no, a good person, to share my life with right now and hopefully in the future.

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Lovely In Her Bones

Posted on June 13, 2013 by

mamasick

I have been dealing with either Osteopenia or Osteoporosis for four years now. When I had my first bone density test I was classified as having Osteopenia. Despite calcium supplements, my next test (two years later because insurance won’t pay for having it done sooner) revealed Osteoporosis. I was told I couldn’t go on drugs like Boniva or Fosamax because they were only for post-menopausal women and I was getting my period regularly, and still am.

Yesterday I went for another bone density test. It’s a quick test but I got a little suspicious when the tech wanted a more detailed shot of my left hip…and didn’t do my right hip. I asked her when I would hear back from my primary doctor about the results and she said probably within the week.

A couple of hours later I had an email from my doctor.

“Your bone density is BELOW THE EXPECTED RANGE FOR AGE. I recommend that we establish with our endocrinologist, to see if you need medication at this point or not…”

I called the endocrinologist and my appointment is for August 8th.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IN THE MEANTIME?!

Exactly how brittle are my bones? Am I in immediate danger of breaking a hip? Do I have the bones of a 70 year old woman? An 80 year old? Why is this happening to me at the ripe old age of 43?

I can’t pull myself away from the internet. I learned that my diseases: Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Ulcerative Colitis and even Depression can contribute to low bone density.

So can Leukemia, Lymphoma and cancer of the bone marrow.

I can’t believe I have to wait nearly two more months for my appointment.

This reminds me of the time a radiologist told me I could have breast cancer based on my mammography. I was told to make an appointment with a breast specialist and I got one..two months later. The spot on my mammography was deemed an old cyst by the specialist, but I spent an agonizing eight weeks in limbo.

Has this ever happened to you?

How did you get through the waiting period?

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Posted in Uncategorized |

Tagged bone density test, Boniva, Calcium, cancer, cancer of the bone marrow, Depression, endocrinologist, Fosamax, Leukemia, Lupus, Lyphoma, Osteopenia, Osteoporosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Ulcerative Colitis |

4 Comments

Bra

Posted on June 13, 2013 by

mamasick

Inspired by Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

Prompt #3: Write a post inspired by the word: bra

When I saw this prompt, a bra story from the tales of my youthful indiscretions immediately came to mind. It was, at the time, my most embarrassing moment.

Being alone together with my long term boyfriend back in my early 20s was a challenge as we both lived with our parents after we graduated college. If my boyfriend had some money we would find a cheap motel, if not we would find a deserted dark place and fool around in the car.

My God, this is embarrassing to even write!

Anyway, we were messing around in my ’94 Ford Probe. My boyfriend had helped me out of my bra. Caught up in the moment I tossed it in the back seat and somehow I forgot about it. I guess I went home bra-less and it was too late for my parents to be awake and notice.

A few weeks later I took my car in for a full service car wash. I waited at the other end as half a dozen guys dried and vacuumed my car. When they told me it was ready, I noticed big smiles on their faces.

I went to get in to my car and there, in the back seat, laid out all nice and pretty, was my bra.

I was absolutely mortified.

It took me quite a while to go back to that car wash again!

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Sundays In My City: Little Italy

Posted on June 9, 2013 by

mamasick

Visit Unknown Mami to see what Sundays In My City looks like all over the world.

This weekend I headed into Cleveland to the city’s historic Little Italy section for their annual art walk.

We enjoyed browsing the galleries and had a delicious lunch.

The Holy Rosary Catholic Church

Now that I have had my first “taste” of Little Italy, I certainly won’t be a stranger.

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Tagged Cleveland, Cleveland's Little Italy, Little Italy, OH, Ohio, Sundays In My City, Unknown Mami |

10 Comments

Fat

Posted on June 6, 2013 by

mamasick

Thanks to my psychiatric meds I’ve gained about thirty pounds this year. I feel so hungry all of the time and I never seem to feel full. The worst has been my binges on sweets. I know I have to take my psych meds but I hate this side effect. I battle with depression and poor body image and this weight gain certainly isn’t helping things. I hate myself right now.

I’ve got some motivation to lose weight though. I am going to BlogHer’13 at the end of July and I want to look my best. So I have a little less than two months. I am doing well not eating sweets but I am still battling the feeling to keep nibbling throughout the day. Nights are the worst though, I just feel SO hungry.

Between weight gain and sexual side effects, a lot of people chose not to go on these much needed drugs. I know I MUST be on pysch drugs but I could sure do without these side effects.

Have you gained weight on psychiatric medications? Has weight gain made you go off your drugs?

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Posted in Uncategorized |

Tagged BlogHer, BlogHer'13, Depression, Emily, sexual side effects of psychiatric meds, weight gain as a side effect of psychiatric meds |

1 Comment

Incontinence?!

Posted on June 4, 2013 by

mamasick

Yep, at the ripe old age of 43, I’ve got it. It may sound funny, but it’s mostly whenever I hear or see water, I feel like I have to go to the bathroom, like when I run the sink or the shower. I’ve wet my pants a couple of times, luckily when I’ve been at home.

I talked it over with my primary physician and she says it could be scar tissue from when I gave birth to Tyler. I had a stage three episiotomy tear. It also can be related to my Osteoporosis. I asked her about medication for it and she said they have a lot of side effects. She told me that they actually have physical therapy for the pelvic floor

I don’t know if I am up for PT of my lady bits. I’m thinking of just buying those pads.

Do you have incontinence? What are you doing about it?