Inspired by Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

Prompt #2.) You know you’re a rookie mom when you…

Grant and I were nervous about the whole car seat thing.  We had a policeman who had taken a 40 hour class on car seat installment put the bases in our car.  We were all set.  I even practiced with my Teddy Bear being the baby on how to strap him in. Teddy fit in fine.

Moving on to Tyler’s birth.  I had a 3rd degree tear and I won’t go into any more detail about that.  Let’s just say that 4th degree is the worst and I could not stand in the hospital and could only hold Tyler in bed.

By the time we went home I could stand and gingerly walk.  Amazingly, no one asked if we had a car seat; no one, except the guy pushing my wheelchair came down to the car with us.  I was holding Tyler in the wheelchair, and Grant got out the car seat and put it on the floor. The guy went away.  He placed the baby in…and couldn’t figure out how to strap him in.  “I can’t do it! I can’t do it!”  I squat down to help him.  Word to the uninitiated:  don’t ever squat after you’ve torn a couple of days ago after delivering a baby at only 9 cm dilated.

I nearly fell over from the pain.  I am wimpering and Tyler is now screaming.  I can’t do it either!  Luckily, there is a Mother Earth Goddess who walks by and asks if we need help.  She easily buckles Tyler in and we are on our way.

Now we are coming up on Tyler’s two week check-up.  I haven’t taken him outside for two weeks because I am nervous about cooties.  I practice on Teddy again.

Did I mention I had Postpartum Anxiety?

We are five minutes from the pediatrician’s office.  With 20 minutes to go to his appointment I take Tyler and put him in the car seat…and I can’t fucking do it!  I can’t strap him in, I can’t figure it out!  I call my husband at work, I am crying.  Why I did that I don’t know because he would never be able to get home in time.  I call the pediatrician’s office, “I can’t figure out how to get my baby strapped in his car seat!” And being the supportive administrative staff they are, they tell me if I am late we will have to reschedule.

I am freaking out, now I have 10 minutes before his appointment.  Finally I get it!  I have done it!  We make it to the pediatrician’s just in time.

Now I look back, it seems so easy, what was my problem?

I guess now I too am a Mother Earth Goddess.