I haven’t really written about my physical health lately, but in the past months I’ve been experiencing symptoms that had been under control for a while.  Since March I’ve been having joint pain in my elbows, knees and wrists.  I’ve been using heating pads three times a day. Last weekend my hands and feet started to swell to the point of where it is really painful. Now I need heat packs and ice packs at the same time.  It’s a whole ritual, microwaving heating pads, putting others in the freezer.

This morning I woke up and couldn’t walk on my right foot because of the swelling. Of course it was Saturday and Tyler really needed a haircut.  I’m up and down with him, or because of him all the time, getting him snacks, doing laundry, helping him in the bathroom.

This is the first time since he’s been born that I’ve had this type of swelling.  And it’s just not as simple as it used to be.  Even when I was working or on a business trip, I could take break, put my feet up and ice them down.  Now with Tyler I’m gulping down an extra pain pill and doing what I’ve got to do until I can’t stand it any more.

Which is about now (9:00 p.m.)  I’m writing while my feet are elevated on top of two pillows. This symptom isn’t so easy to hide from Tyler, whom I still don’t feel comfortable telling about my diseases.

Lupus is just so uncertain.  Will I be getting better or worse?  Is my Orencia medication starting to fail? Should we finally buy a used manual wheelchair?

Right now, it is 9:15 p.m.  My child is not settling into bed like he should be at this time of the night, in fact he is eating Pez.  But for tonight, my body has given up and this sick mama needs to take a break.