Someday I am Going To…

Inspired by Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.

Prompt 5. Someday I am going to…(Inspired by Marcy Writes)

Someday I am going to build my blog back to where it was.

The day before my last blog post on January 11, 2012, I had been the Featured Blogger on the SITS Girls website. I had nearly 60 comments on my blog and many more from fellow SITS Girls on the main site. Comments from other chronically ill moms saying “Me too!” Healthy women thanking me for exposing them to another side of parenting and for helping them understand their chronically ill friends better. Others who thanked me for educating them and others who would keep me in their prayers.

At the time I had been struggling mightily with depression, anxiety and agoraphobia, along with Lupus and Interstitial Cystitis. For the first time in my four-year blogging career I had Writer’s Block

In my last blog post I thanked everyone who came to my blog on my SITS Day. I said that this funk I am in will not be forever, that the words would come freely once again.

Only they didn’t…for eight months.

During that time I went in-patient for a time, lost my home and husband, and moved to my mother’s house with my son.

I watched my Alexa Rank drop from just around the one million mark all the way to 12 million. BlogHer took its ads off of my site. Just when it looked like I would finally be turning a profit, my illnesses got the better of me and I had lost everything I had worked for.

I started to feel better in the middle of August, and on September 4th wrote my first blog back. My readers came back, so happy to see me writing again, and in about a month I saw my Alexa Rank go from 12 million to just around three million.

Blogging again has been a sign of my recovery. I feel purpose in my life when I help people like me and when I show people another way of living. I gain support when my readers offer me advice and virtual hugs.

I have lost so much but I plan to keep on writing and promote myself better. I will apply to BlogHer ads again. I will see my AR drop even more.

Someday I am going to build my blog back to where it was…and even bigger.

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About mamasick

Emily Cullen is a pen-name. I suffer from chronic illnesses and diseases which include Bipolar Disorder, Asthma, Diabetes and Fibromyalgia. I had battled Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis but there is no longer evidence of me having these diseases and my Rheumatologist has declared them to be "burnt out" of my system. I am separated from my husband, “Grant”. Our son, “Tyler” was born in September of 2006 and suffers from tics and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is delayed in fine and gross motor skills. In my blog I seek to let sick moms know that they are not the only ones going through this, and to educate people about what can happens when one becomes catastrophically ill. I also strive to break down stereotypes of what a “Welfare Mom” is like. Anything that I have gone through due to being sick, is written on the pages of Mama Sick.

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